Last fall we had a serious discussion about the possibility of moving out of state. Again, at times I think we both thought, "Well maybe, if the right thing popped up." So as we were discussing the possibility of moving, Mike was contacted by the leader of the United Church of Christ for the Florida conference saying she thought his profile (resume) would be a good fit for a church with an opening in Dunedin, Florida. So Mike did a little research for we both said, "Where's Dunedin AND how to you pronounce that? Well, Dunedin is located just north of Clearwater on the Gulf coast side of Florida and it is pronounced DONE-EE-DIN. The other thing that struck us - it is a little Scottish town. How fitting for Michael MacMillan!
The process for finding the best pastor for a church is not a simple or quick process. I always explained to people that as much as a church is interviewing the pastor, the pastor is also interviewing the church. This is no small commitment for both pastor and church - it all needs to work just right. With the possibility of moving out of state it also became a very serious family decision for us as well.
If you know anything about Minnesotans it is that they do not often leave their homeland and when they do it tends to cause quite a commotion. Mike and I were both born and raised in the land of 10,000 lakes (and mosquitoes!). We were a part of a generation that had lived in just one house our entire lives before going off to college. Even throughout the "experimental years" we were never too far from our original homes or at least when we were it was very temporary. It was a comfortable and lovely life. There are times when I am sure myself, Mike and even others would say - why change that? Our best answer, because we could and wanted to.
I think that a lot of my personal yoga practice over the years and a wealth of amazing yoga teachers that have surrounded me thus far in my life have helped me realize that nothing is permanent - that we should strive to embrace change. I find that the most unhappy people in this world are the ones not willing to change. I see it everyday in my career field. People are unhappy if one class time gets changed to another day, or God forbid, just by 5 minutes. Or how about the person that wants to loose weight but refuses to change their diet and exercise habits. Hmm, good luck with that goal.
So as we made our decision to embark on this gigantic life - change, we needed to start letting go of things that would hold us back. It brought to mind the Yoga Sutra of vairagya, non- attachment. Vairagya is learning to let go of the many attachments, aversions, fears, and false identities that are clouding the true Self. I think this is one of the hardest concepts to embrace.
I can say that moving out of state and downsizing was one of the best things for my body, mind and spirit. We were forced to get rid of things, and oh what a relief. I have noticed that the less I have with regards to possessions, the more time I have, which is truly precious.
This is not to say that I have not struggled with some of this over the past few months. I think the biggest obstacle was how this was going to affect my children. I think the "mommy guilt" was the hardest thing for me to let go of. Even though our girls are 5 and 7, I still see them as little babies, my little babies. At this point in my kid's lives, Minnesota, their house in Richfield, their little friends down the street, their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents were all that they knew and it was safe. Was I willing to take them away from that safety net? Heck, this was really all I had ever known, was I willing to do the same for myself?
So as we got closer to the idea of actually packing up and moving out of state the process of letting go was staring us right in the face. Were we really going to do this? Could we, but more importantly I think I kept saying, should we? I had lived my entire first 34 years of my life in Minnesota. I had seen my neighborhood change over the years - I was a part of that and now I was just going to pack up and leave it? Well, the obvious answer is yes but it did take some time.
I can say with all honesty that my husband was the best choice for this congregation that we are now a part of in Dunedin. I have always thought that he is one of the most intelligent and brilliant men I have ever and will ever know but I think this congregation sees it as well. Mike came down here last winter to interview and I had no doubt he would impress. The biggest factor for us was would it be something we wanted as well?
So in early May we packed up the whole family and flew down to Florida. It had so many elements of excitement for us. The girls got to experience their first plane ride, seeing Florida and of course the possibility was there for us all that this just might become our new home. What made the trip so awesome were not just the fantastic sunny days, powder white beaches but the welcoming embrace from our possible new church.
We spent many days engulfed in Mike's career opportunity but we also had to decide if it would all really work for us. So we visited a school for the girls, found a place where we could live and even a job for me. It meant so much that I could move from one YMCA to another - still having that community outlet that I knew we would all need.
As I think back to the process of letting go, the getting rid of clutter and material things was not really that big of deal to me, it was letting go of the people around me. Over time we do not realize how much a person means to us until they are not quite as accessible as they used to be. I knew it was going to be hard to not have my parents close by, not have my kids see their family members in person as often, this was the hardest part of leaving. I knew we were not saying goodbye forever but more so saying "see you soon."
There are days that are harder than others. Days when I really miss my mom and dad, my sisters and brothers, friends and old co-workers. The practice of non-attachment helps me through all those sad feelings for I know that even if I cannot physically embrace these people, I can pick up the phone, Skype, text, email or even meditate. Nothing is permanent and every day is moving forward to the next one. I also know that if I really need to see any one of these people, there is nothing stopping me from getting on a plane and heading back to good old MPLS - well, maybe below zero temps and blizzards!
So as we head into this fall season where in Minnesota we really do see the physical changes of Mother Nature, we will embrace our new autumn season in Florida. We will enjoy our local farmers markets that thrive all year round. We get to wear shorts and flip flops all year - maybe the occasional sweatshirt for those chilly days of 60 degrees. Sunshine calls our name everyday (361 days to be exact) and it is so pleasant. We have so many beaches to try out, amusement parks to have fun at and time to simply enjoy this new journey.
We will always be rooted in Minnesota but our branches are sure soaking up the salt water and sun!
May the sun that shines on my face shine on yours as well.
Namaste.
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