Birthday Blues and Expectations

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! ~ Dr. Seuss

Today would have been my father's 83rd birthday.  I knew it would be a hard day but as the day has gone on, it has been harder than I thought.

I also celebrated my own birthday a few days ago.  It was a lovely day for I spent it with my husband

and my girls.  Yet, in my heart I had a deep longing for my dad to be here for it.  It is still really hard to come to terms with the fact that he is no longer here on this earth.

I do take some comfort in the fact that my dad and I have always shared the same birthday month.  Actually, my birthday falls right in between both my parents.  Kind of apropos for the baby in the family to be nuzzled in-between her folks.

My dad was never a big birthday celebration person but he recognized the importance of life, our lives.  I miss the simple ways of my dad.  He was driven by family and faith.  Between church and his kids that was all that mattered.

My dad did not worry about the little things.  Did we have food, shelter, clothing and a family that loved us?  The answer was yes and that was all that mattered.

I have been using this simple way of life to help me through some of my own personal struggles with stressing over the little things.

The other day, the girls were supposed to start back up with piano.  One of my girls was adamant that she did not want to continue.  It really made me angry.  The real question was why?  I was putting my own desires and expectations of me on her.  I played piano so you shall, too.  It was creating this stress in our family life that was so silly.  I finally decided that in the end it was just that, not the end. Let the girl enjoy her other activities and move on.  Will our world crumble without more piano lessons? No.  Can she take them up again if she chooses to? Yes.  Am I less stressed and saving a few dollars?  Yes.

The most important question: Do we have food, shelter, clothing and a family that loves us?  Yes.

I miss my dad immensely but his simple life teachings still help me even when he is not here anymore.  I hope he had a great birthday today.  Hopefully he had a nice cup of coffee and a lot of M&M cookies.

Here's to letting go of the little things, of expectations of things we cannot control or just simply should not even try to control.  The less we cling to the little things the more calm this walk of life shall be.  Bring on the simple life indeed.

May the light in my heart honor the light in yours,

Namaste

A Back to School Wish

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.    
~ Margaret Mead

This week the girls headed back to school.  I am in awe that it is the fourth year at their school here in Florida.  Where did the time fly?  Hard to believe that we have a 3rd and 5th grader.

I can honestly say that this year I felt well prepared.  The girls seemed to take more ownership of the first day this year and that helped.  Not a lot of drama which makes for a much smoother first week of school.  This is a big deal when you have two girls!

As the girls grow older I have noticed that I feel quite confident in their academics.  They are intelligent kids for sure.  I know that as they get older there will be some bumps in the road.  The bumps that I am referring to have nothing to do with academics but more the social development and hurdles that come with being human.

I worry about them.  I worry about how they are treated by others. I worry about how they treat others as well.  I know they are kind and loving children and I worry that over time there will be occurrences that might dim that light in their hearts.

I remember growing up and facing some challenging social obstacles as a kid and young adult.  I also remember not always being kind myself as a young person.  Feeling the need to fit in sometimes trumped being a good person.  I know now looking back that this was wrong and I stress to my kids often that being a smart, kind and loving person are the most important things you can do for yourself and others.

Yet, I know it is not easy.  I even see adults faced with this dilemma as well.  I remember when I first moved down here I had a few altercations at one of my jobs where a fellow coworker treated me like I was not welcomed.  She was literally mean to me deliberately.  I thought I was having high school flashbacks.  I could not believe that a grown woman could act that way?

After some time I realized that this person felt threatened by me.  Why?  I have no idea but for some reason I must have been treading on territory already claimed.  After time, I slowly was accepted by this person.  I must have become less threatening when she realized that I was simply a woman trying to live her life in a harmonious manner.

It's hard as a grown woman and parent to start to see and hear the moments that you remember as a child yourself that were not always so fun.  The girls will face those hard decisions on whether to take the high road or take the popular road.  They will not get invited to parties some times and there will be tears.  They will have to decide for themselves who is a true friend and who is not.

My thoughts always go back to the yoga principle of ahimsa or non-harming.  I believe this relates to so many aspects of our lives.  Non-harming applies to both how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.  It is hard to explain this some times to my children but I have decided that the more I can stress the importance of this thought AND action that they just might have an easier (or somewhat easier) time with this thing we call life.

Choosing the more just road is not easy.  We are all faced with daily decisions on doing what is best for ourselves and hopefully others as well.

My wish for this coming school year for my kids (and all kids) is that they may learn how to show respect, love and kindness for others and themselves as well.  Knowing that in the end, peace, love and kindness shall always prevail.

May that light shining bright in their eyes and hearts be constantly burning.  If they can keep that fire lite within them for the future days then they will have accomplished a great deal in this world.

Here is to a new, bright, bold, loving and peaceful school year for all.

May the light in me honor the light in you.

Namaste

Savoring the moments

Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write. ~ John Adams

We just returned from a wonderful summer vacation.  It was a mixture of family, friends and fun.  It was the all American road trip and we are still basking in the wonderful adventure.  We spent a week in Minnesota and then we took another week with our little family to download together.

While I was in Minnesota, I visited by father's grave.  The last time I was at his graveside was the day we laid him to rest.  That was a frigid, December afternoon.  This time around it was delightfully warm and sunny.  I went with my mom and we put flowers on his grave and I took some time to talk to him.  It was a very special day with my mom...and my dad.

It got me thinking about all the moments or events in our lives that happen every day.  Do we take enough time to really appreciate the abundance that surrounds us?  I spent a lot of time in Minnesota with my mom.  We visited my dad's grave, went swimming, walking, dining and just talking.  I know she liked our time together and so did I.

I also thought about my dad when we were all together as a family.  I wondered, "What would dad be doing now if he were here?"  I smiled for I knew right away he would be watching all his grand kids with a mug of coffee in one hand and an M&M cookie in his other hand. He would be filled with love and joy.  He always enjoyed the moments.  He honored the times we were together as a family.  I knew he would be smiling with us that day as well.

My brother and I on our 37 mile Twin Cities bike ride.
I'm holding one of the best cities in my hands - Minneapolis

We did what you were supposed to do on a vacation - we unplugged.  We left our worries back in Florida to enjoy time with people.  I even let go of working out - wow!  I decided that my mind, body and spirit could use a little rest and relaxation.  I did still manage to fit in a 37 mile bike ride with my brother and sister and walks around the lakes and on the North Carolina beaches but they were not my typical routines.  I ate what I liked, in moderation of course and slept in late - ah!


We enjoyed time with our extended families but we also took time with our little family, just the four of us.  We spent time frolicking on the beach and at Aquatica.  We discovered new cities across the country that we had never explored before.  We connected with each other and had no set schedule.  It was refreshing.  It was necessary.  We created moments that will always be remembered and cherished.

 







As I continue to live off of the vacation high, I reflect upon a poem that I first came across while I was in college (many years ago!).  It is deeply moving and reminds me everyday that my dad is still within and around me always.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

RIP sweet dad.  I love you always.

I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
                                              ~ Mary Elizabeth Frye


So take some time this summer to savor the moments, the here and now.  Enjoy the warmth of the sun, dance in the rain (Florida summers include A LOT of rain), strike a yoga pose on the beach and embrace your friends and family a little longer.

The light in me honors the light in you,

Namaste

A Father's Day to Remember with a side of Summer Solstice

To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. - Euripides

Last year we were up in Minnesota at this time celebrating Father's Day with my entire family.  I remember when we planned the trip there was a tiny thought in my head that this could be the last Father's Day with my dad.  Little did I know that I would be correct.  I think many of us kind of knew.  My mother was so adamant that everyone be there for the party and that there were plenty of pictures captured. It was a fun day and I know my dad loved it - the whole family was gathered one more time.

 I miss my dad today.  Plain and simple, I just miss him.

Yet, I find great comfort in the many memories that cannot be erased.  Days of great joy with my dad, especially during this time of year - blessed summer!

Summer was a time I always looked forward to as a kid for I knew my dad would be taking time off and we would hop in the car and road trip across the country.  The days were longer; the sun was shining warm upon us after a long, cold winter and it was that special time to chill with the family.

With the collaboration of Father's Day and the Summer Solstice this year it got me thinking about endings and beginnings.

The first day of summer kind of feels like another chance to start anew.  Like a "Happy Half New Year!"  Growing up in Minnesota summers were sacred.  We relished every single day for we knew winter would return again.  The malls were empty but the lakes, parks and pools were crowded.  The grills were fired up every night for dinner and the smell of sunscreen and mosquito repellent were in the air.

My father's death marked an end to his physical life on earth yet his presence will always be a part of me.  This way of celebrating or remembering Father's Day is the mark of a new beginning for me.  I may not have my father actually here but I can remember all those fun days of summer.  I can remember all those days he took my own girls to the pool when they were babies.  I can remember those hot nights he would come over to watch the Minnesota Twins on television with us at our house to get more time with his little angels and to enjoy the cool AC (they did not have AC in their old house).

I also look at my daughters and think, they not only got those amazing years of "papa" but they are blessed with a wonderful father themselves.  I truly believe that the way my father treated my mother and all of us kids are exactly why I have my own amazing husband and children.  My father taught me that I deserve to have love and respect in my life, no exceptions.  Those values can never be taken away.

So as I embark on my first Father's Day without my dad, I thought I would write him a little letter.  This Father's Day marks a new beginning for me and what better way to start then with a letter of gratitude.

Dear Dad,

I miss you today.  I miss that deep laugh of yours.  I miss your handsome blue eyes.  I miss your embrace and sweet kisses on the cheek. There are so many things I miss but instead of dwelling on all that I miss, I wish to thank you for all the things you gave me that have shaped me as the woman I am today.  Here are just a few:

I got your Scandinavian cheekbones - everyone could always tell I was a Wallander.  

I love food and always will.  The food is especially good if it gets all over your face and on the floor as well.

I know the importance of loving your family no matter what.  

I try my hardest to take care of my teeth.  Yet, I avoid doctors as much as I can.

Eat burnt toast to make your hair curly. Oh, and make sure there is A LOT of butter on that toast.

Minnesota is the best place on earth.  I still agree dad but oh those winters!

Time spent on people is more important then money spent on people.

Education is a priority not an option.

Everyone deserves to live a good life.  Go unions!

Only drive American cars. That might change dad but so far I have!

Take care of your mother.

Love God and love your neighbor.  

There are so many more but these are just some that make my heart smile.  I hope that you know how special you are to me.  I hope you are at peace, enjoying a new beginning.  I hope that all your days are like those of summer filled with warmth, relaxation and love.

Your little girl always,

Esperanza

May this Father's Day and the mark of the summer season be filled with tears of sadness and joy, of endings and beginnings but most of all love and peace.

The warm summer light in my heart honors the warm summer light in yours,

Namaste

Swimming in salty tears

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~ Washington Irving

I have been a little restless these past few days and I know it is a combination of the end of the school year, the heat (it has been extra hot this Florida spring!), and the six-month anniversary of my dad's death.

I cannot believe it's been six months since that day I kissed and said goodbye to my father.  A half of a year gone already?  I keep thinking I'm supposed to feel a certain way and yet I cannot fully determine how I feel.  My head and heart have been talking to me a great deal over the past few days.  My brain cannot seem to shut down with all the activities that are taking place as the school year ends, the summer begins and plans for a visit back up north are underway.  My heart has been heavy with the thought that when we do visit Minnesota this summer, my dad will not be there.

With all of this I have been adding swimming back into my exercise routine.  I recall a time about ten years ago when I was swimming like a machine.  Right now I am lucky if I get in once, maybe twice a week for laps.  There is something so awesome about gliding along the water, feeling your body move with grace and ease.

So today I kicked off this Memorial Day weekend with taking the girls to the YMCA pool.  I swam some laps while they played in the family pool.  I needed the movement for my body but what I find is that swimming takes me into my own little world.  The only sounds I hear are those of my body moving through the water and my breath entering and exiting in steady rhythm.  It gives me time to think, to escape and to simply feel weightless.

Today's swim was different.  I needed to shed this lingering restlessness and pain within my heart.  I had not cried in a while and it was the perfect place to just let go.  So I swam and I cried those salty tears.  I told my dad that I missed him.

I just kept swimming and crying those salty tears. I thought about the meaning of this weekend.  Thinking again of my dad and how he served in the Korean War and how he is now gone.  I remember Memorial Day weekends as a child.  So excited for the start of summer, my dad grilling, and mom's potato salad and of course the beginning of swimming season.  We lived for swimming as kids growing up in Minnesota.  After surviving the long winters our reward was those days of swimming from Memorial Day all the way through Labor Day.  We savored summer.  It was a time to relax and let go of all your worries.

I kept swimming and crying those salty tears and before I knew it, it had been over 45 minutes.  I felt the internal and external cleansing of those tears.  I had lost track of how many laps I had completed but I felt a lightness fall over my entire body.

The girls joined me in the lap lane.  We practice our swimming strokes together.  My little Chloe hugging me in between our races.  My little Fiona timing her laps.  My dads "little angels" giving me the love and support that I needed at that moment.

I guess I needed a good cry and swim today.  I have a feeling I will have more of them to come - even more this weekend quite possibly.

May we all have a weekend filled with remembering those that have served and passed on but also a weekend filled with renewing, cleansing tears of sadness, joy, love and hope.

Here is to the start of summer, swimming, salty tears, sand between your toes and love embracing your heart always.

Namaste

Dad and his little angels

Here's to the beach this summer!

To be a Real Yogi, or not to be

Yoga, an ancient but perfect science, deals with the evolution of humanity. This evolution includes all aspects of one's being, from bodily health to self realization. Yoga means union - the union of body with consciousness and consciousness with the soul. Yoga cultivates the ways of maintaining a balanced attitude in day to day life and endows skill in the performance of one's actions.  ~ B.K.S. Iyengar

I love B.K.S. Iyengar's quote above for this is how I feel about yoga.  I know that every one's journey is different.  Some students come simply for the physical and that is just fine with me for what most do not know is that there are some really cool things happening inside their minds and souls as well as they practice.  I know others that are only there for the savasana and that is awesome, too.  I truly believe in the end we are all subconsciously seeking balance in our lives.

I came across an article the other day about misconceptions of yoga teachers.  It got me thinking about some of the misconceptions I have heard over my years of practice. I have had my share of comments from both students that practice yoga and from those that have never set foot on a mat.  I would say that modern day marketing has done a good job of making sure everyone knows that yoga exists but I would say that it does not do a good job of relaying what yoga can be for those that practice.

Here are some of the stereotypes I have heard over the years about people who teach or practice yoga:

Real yogis have ectomorphic bodies (aka - thin)

It is hard not to think that all yoga instructors must be tall, thin and gorgeous for that is what every ad shows us.  The last time I saw a "Hard Tail" ad showing a mildly chubby model in yoga clothes was like...never!  Yet, I know for fact that there are many of us instructors and followers of yoga that are not that body type.  We come in all shapes and sizes, with different strengths and weaknesses but we all desire to practice.  

I can honestly say that 15 years ago when I started practicing yoga it was for very superficial reasons.  I wanted that long, lean body.  Guess what?  I did get leaner, stronger, more flexible and I felt fantastic.  I was also in my twenties, teaching tons of high impact classes, had no kids, it was 100% about me.  What I did not know as I began my yoga journey was how my body would crave for that movement and little did I know that my mind did as well.  

As I look back on my journey I can say that yoga is the reason I have had minimal injuries for all the hard classes I have taught back to back, day after day.  Yoga has taught me about how the human body moves and functions.  I have been able to apply this knowledge to helping people get out of pain, including myself.  Yoga got me through two amazing pregnancies and natural labors.  Yoga is something I know I can do for the rest of my life and this makes me so happy.  

All yogis should be vegans or vegetarians

Now the diet thing is a big debate in the yoga world.  I am not ashamed to say I eat meat but it does bother me a bit when people preach their diet.  Just like we are all not the same body type we are all also dealing with completely different and complex nutritional needs.  Some of us have tried vegetarian diets but have found that adding animal protein is really what makes us feel best.

On the more spiritual side of yoga there is the case for ahimsa. Ahimsa means non-harming and so many interpret this to include not killing animals and/or eating them as well.  I understand this but like any practice we all have to do what is right for our bodies.

Instead of insisting that we adhere to a diet that might not work well with our current body why not simply work on eating with gratitude.  Say a prayer of gratitude before each meal thanking those that helped grow and harvest the food we are about to eat.  I know that there are a lot of folks out there that would argue this one with me but again I believe we are all on our own journeys and we need to do what is best for our own well being.

With that, I do think there are things we should consider as well when choosing food.  I do believe that eating real food often is important.  Trying to eat as much organic produce and meat is both important for our own health but that of the environment as well.  Supporting local growers and respecting the earth.  This is just as important as what we eat.

All yogis are flexible like Gumby 

Of course I can put my legs behind my head and balance on one finger - can't you?!?!? 

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this line, "I can't do yoga for I am not flexible." I normally smile and simply say," Then you have come to the right place for this is where you start the flexibility journey."  That is like saying, " I can't start to clean up my diet and exercise because I am overweight."  Isn't then the point that you need to start doing those things to get to the desired goal?  So, stop saying you can't do yoga for you are not flexible.  If you are a beginner find a beginners class and let the teacher know it is your first time.  If you start at point A then getting to point B,C, D and on will be so much easier.  Flexibility is so different for each person.  Work with what you got and over time you will see a difference.  Just not trying it because you think you can't is not a good excuse.  Remember that we are not just working on flexibility of the body but that of the mind as well.

All yogis are calm and collective all the time

Yes, I float about all day dreaming of rainbows and kittens.  My children are always well behaved and my house is immaculate.  I never worry or get mad either.  Life is perfect.  Only on t.v folks, only on t.v.  Yogis are human, we have our daily lives to deal with, sometimes some really unhappy stuff going on but it is through our yoga practice of the body and mind that have helped us deal with it all.  We cry, we scream, we yell and we even fight sometimes.  I once had a student say, " I so needed that class or I was going to kill someone."  Yes, we are fighting everyday to minimize crime in the community through yoga - both for our students and for ourselves.

All yogis practice yoga everyday

Yes, I wake up daily before the sun rises and complete my practice and meditation.  I then complete all my ayurvedic remedies (oil pulling, Netti pot and warm lemon cleanse) before the kids and hubby get up and we all float out of the house ready for a perfect day.  NOT!  I am lucky if I get a few minutes at night to stretch my body after hours of teaching not just yoga but other classes, training clients, running around for kiddos activities, making sure we all shove something somewhat healthy in our mouths and by that time just a few necessary stretches are all I can handle.  Bed is calling my name.

I would love to be able to practice more and some weeks I am able to carve out more time but know that we are human, too.  We have plenty of stuff to do as well.  We have bills to pay, families to take care of, and community duties.

My favorite thing is to be able to attend a class that I do not teach. When I show up I try my hardest to just be me, incognito.  If I do not chat a lot with you it doesn't mean I don't like you it is just my time.  That is why a lot of times I will go to another club or someplace where no one knows me for it is wonderful to just be the student.

So...

As you can see there are some funny stereotypes for those of us in the yoga world.  If you are thinking about taking up yoga please do.  Sometimes it takes time to find the right class or the right teacher.  Try to be open to all types, explore and make it a journey of the body, mind and spirit.  I promise that once you start, you will not want to stop.

 I thought the photo below explains how a lot of us feel from time to time:

May the light in me honor the light in you,

Namaste

Weaving through the grieving

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland

It’s been two months since my dad passed away and some days it feels like a lifetime and in other ways it feels just like yesterday.  No one is ever prepared for grief.  It just arrives and you have to figure out how to deal with it (or not).  

The other day I attended a gentle yoga class.  It was a perfect class for this grieving mind and body.  I have noticed that my body has been responding to my personal grief as much as my heart and mind.  Gentle exercise like yoga and pilates feel the best for me these days.  I know that my body is responding to an aching heart right now and so I need to take extra care of myself.  

At the end of class I was relaxing in savasana and without even thinking about it, I just started crying.    It wasn't huge sobbing tears but they were constant, unstoppable tears rolling down the sides of my cheeks into my ears and hair.  I just let it happen.  It was so cleansing.  I have had my share of tears on many days since my dad died but for some reason this was a new type of relief.  I got up from class and went about the rest of my day.  It was almost like that was the natural part of my relaxation and meditation. No judgment, just accepting the here and now.

I have been exploring the different stages of grief and have decided I have been through many of them and back again.  Here is what I have discovered about each stage within my own journey.

Stage 1: Denial

I told Mike the other day that I wish it was two months ago and that I could relive my final hours with my dad.  Even though it was a tough time I was there with my dad, holding his hand and talking to him.  Those final hours with him were hard but I think many of these days without him have been even harder.  I was wishing for a false reality knowing quite well that this would never happen again.  In some ways denying my fathers death and wishing to relive my final moments with him over and over again sound so much better then trying to figure out how to live without him here on earth.

Stage 2: Anger

This one has been easy to pinpoint.  The first few weeks after my dad’s death I wanted to punch every single person in the face that I saw smoking a cigarette.  We took a short trip about two weeks after my dad’s death to St. Augustine for a quite get-a-way for the family.  We had this awesome balcony over looking the Atlantic and the moment we stepped out on the balcony we were surrounded by cigarette smokers.  It completely ruined my Zen and it reminded me even more of my father's death.  He smoked for over 60 years and although there was not an autopsy anyone could determine that this was the underlying cause of his death.  

I wanted to shout from the balcony," Please put out your f#%ing cigarettes, I just lost my dad to smoking you a#$holes!"  Of course this passive aggressive Midwesterner didn't say it but was screaming it in her head. Noticed that even in my head I was courteous and asked "please."  These are the times I wish I was a quick talking New Yorker and said what I really felt.

I kept saying to Mike, " I hate smokers." He said something that put my anger in perspective.  He explained that if I hated all smokers then that meant I hated my dad, as he was a smoker.  This made my heart sink.  Of course I didn't hate my dad, I LOVE my dad.  So instead I determined that I don't hate smokers, I dislike the addiction.  I normally try not to say the word hate in general so I think dislike is better and again, it is the addiction that I do not like.

Stage 3: Bargaining

This one goes back to my dads smoking.  I have thought many times, "What if my dad didn't smoke, then he would still be alive."  Like I am the Nostradamus of health.  Anything could have taken my dads life regardless of his smoking habit.  We will never know so why speculate and impose more sadness and stress to the situation. 

I also have been grappling with whether me moving to Florida made a difference.  I wonder, "Would dad have lived longer if I had not moved away?"  In some ways blaming myself for my dad's death.  I know this is not the reason for my dad's passing but it is amazing how feelings of guilt creep up on you when you let them.  Again, these are things that cannot be changed and are not the causes for the outcome but is it easy to get yourself wrapped into a tight, guilt-laden bundle.  

Stage 4: Depression

I think this is the stage I have been caught in the most.  The first week after my dad’s funeral I was deeply sad.  I was tired, had no appetite, no drive to do what I normally did.  I literally wanted to sit on the couch and do nothing.  It took everything to get my family ready and myself in the morning.  Going to teach classes and personal train clients were some of the greatest challenges for me.  How was I to take care of others when I could barely take care of myself?  In some sense it was easier to do that then to take care of myself.  I could distract myself instead of dealing with the elephant in the room.

I'm still dealing with this aspect of taking care of myself.  I feel selfish when I decide to take a walk on the beach instead of cleaning the house.  Yet, walking on the beach, taking time to write down my feelings or simply reading a good book are things that soothe me. 

Stage 5: Acceptance

I think I have seen glimpses of this stage.  Giving myself time to cry, to be sad, and to be angry.  Recognizing that I will never ever stop missing my dad, there will always be memories that bring both sadness and joy.  

One of the greatest tools I have been using is focusing on my breath.  The breath is essential to everyday living.  What most do not understand is that we breathe without thinking but that we can take time to truly focus and think about the breathing process.  Am I truly breathing to my utmost capacity? This has been key to helping me relax and take a step back to focus on my grief.  

The two breathing techniques I have been using are very simple.  The first is left nostril breathing.  The theory is that the right side of your body is your energetic side and the left is your more calming side. Before bed at night I cover my right nostril and breathe about 20 times in and out of my left nostril.  You can do the opposite when you need more energy (so breathe out of the right nostril - more likely in the morning or during the day when you feel sluggish). 

The second technique is called 4-7-8 breathing.  You inhale for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 seconds.  It sounds trickier than it really is so give it a shot.  You do that for four cycles, no more than four cycles at a time.  You can do this a few times throughout the day but it is also nice at night before bedtime.  It really helps to calm the body and create clarity.

There are very few things in this life and world that we can control but our breath is actually one thing we can adjust.  It takes very little time and it is amazing how much better we feel when we truly breathe.

I'm still plugging along these days, some are better then others but knowing I have love and support from my family, friends and ultimately myself are my stronghold.  I know my dad is doing well wherever he may be - looking over us all and shining his love upon us everyday.

May the light in my heart honor the light in yours,

Namaste