A little self love

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection ~ Buddha

It is amazing how fast the month of February has flown by and here we are almost ready to say good bye to the "heart" month.  Yes, Valentine's Day has passed and yet we hope that love never ceases.  I have been thinking about the idea of self love these days.  Self love is not one of conceit but about caring and respecting ourselves and truly loving who we are in body, mind and spirit. 

It is so easy to forget about ourselves as we keep our days busy with careers, family and daily obligations.  I must admit that I work in a field where I must give a lot of myself both physically, emotionally and mentally.  There are days when I return home and all I want to do is simply sit and speak to no one.  Mom wants her alone time!  Sometimes parenting is not really at the top of my list and this makes me feel bad.  Yet, as I have been reflecting this month, I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others.  It is like the instructions on the airplane, put your own mask on first and then put your kids on second.  I must thank the airlines for this mantra.

I have been participating in the Tampa 60 day yoga challenge and it ends at the end of this month.  I am happy to say that I have been able to complete some form of yoga almost every day for the past two months.  This makes me smile for I know it has been good for my body and soul.  Some days I have only been able to fit in 20 minutes of self practice but other days I have had fun on a yoga swing or attended a class.  All of this time on my mat (whether long or short) has helped me stay grounded even during these busy weeks.

It has also given me time to reflect upon the way I see myself.  Self love means really coming to terms with the way my body looks.  I will admit, I am my worst critic and I know that I really should be my best friend.  I am constantly trying to build up my clients and students self esteem when it comes to there body image and yet I will admit that I find myself criticizing (internally) certain aspects of my body.  Instead of reflecting upon what might not look "model perfect" I try to instill within myself what my body is capable of doing at this point in my life.

Me doing Aerial Yoga!

If you would have asked me ten years ago to do a headstand or hang upside down on a piece of fabric from the ceiling I would have said no way.  Today I am can do both of these plus many other strong and flexible things with my body.  I am amazed at what my body can do and thankful that I can create such movement with my body.  I am thankful that I can walk on two feet, balance on one foot, ride a bike for a long period of time and meditate for 15 minutes and not feel fidgety.  These are just a few things but if we are to really sit down and list off the things we can do we would all be amazed (and probably have quite a long list!). 

Self love is loving the body you are renting right now.  We only get this one body and we better appreciate it now.  Continue to do things that lift you up and surround yourself with people who love you for all your many qualities.  Hug yourself today, tomorrow and forever.

May the love in my heart honor the love in yours,

Namaste

 

Life lessons

You must be the change you wish to see in the world  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I recently liked a friends post on Facebook and then got stuck with the number nine. I was supposed to do some kind of list about myself with nine ideas or something along that line. No fears, I will not assign you a number so please read with ease. For the New Year I thought it would be good to list nine things I have discovered about (my) life so far.  They could correlate with New Year's resolutions as well.

1.  Your health is your greatest asset. You only get one body so use it wisely. Seriously, if your physical body is not healthy it affects EVERYTHING.  Take care of your body and if you have had injuries there is no time like the present to start healing. No excuses just do it. Exercise, eat in moderation, sleep, meditate, and love the skin your in, no judgments. Also, stop making goals based solely on body image. Think more about "health" goals.  If you are really struggling with this hire a personal trainer or see a nutritionist.  Remember, it is an investment for your life - literally.

2.  Intelligence matters. Keep educating yourself daily. Your brain, body and society will thank you. Ignorance is not bliss, it is dangerous. Being a smart, well informed person is a good thing, flaunt it.

3.  The only person you can change is YOU. Stop trying to make others the way you want them to be, period. You will become exhausted and frustrated. It is a waste of everyone's energy.  Love people for the way they are or move on.

4.  Forgive yourself and others. The best quote I have ever heard was this, "Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your mind."  We all have done crappy things in our lives and have had bad things done to us. If you do not let go of them you become bitter. Don't be "the bitter old person." 

5.  Get over your family issues.  There is no such thing as a perfect family, parents, siblings, spouse, and kids.  If your childhood was abusive seek help from a professional to work through this pain.  If you simply are mad that you did not get everything you wanted as a kid well, go back to life lesson number four. Do not be the bitter person in the family.

6.  Learn to live with less. You do not need a lot of material things. Over the years I have tried to remove clutter from my life and it brings so much more peace within me. Get rid of clothes you never wear, donate kids stuff regularly, and only buy what you really need. Living in excess only causes more stress.  Embrace being called a "hippie" or "granola."

7.  Say "I love you" often to the people you really do love. You never know if it might be your last time.

8.  Try your hardest to do what you love for a living. Sometimes that means just part time to start out while you work another job that you are not crazy about. If you really want it, it will eventually become your full time passion/career.

9.  Be kind to those who are unkind to you.   Smile and remember that the way people treat you says more about them then you.  The Golden Rule is so simple, live by it, always.

Here is to a New Year filled with a healthy body, mind and spirit.  Let go of what you do not need and embrace that which brings you full life.

Happy New Year dear friends!

Namaste

Breaking Tradition

Tradition is the illusion of permanence. ~Woody Allen

A few months ago we decided that we needed to get away for a few days, take a break from this crazy thing we call life.  The girls had the whole week of Thanksgiving off and what a better time to get away from the madness if but for a while.  So, we started coming up with lofty plans of driving down to the Keys to lounge and relax. We did not mention anything to the girls right away for we thought we might get some push back for breaking the tradition of cooking the big meal on the actual day.  As we got closer to the actual dates we realized that it just was not going to work to get down to the southern most point.  We decided to modify our plans and stay closer to home and simply go over to Orlando.  We were going to spend the Thanksgiving holiday at SeaWorld.  So we let the girls know what we were going to do and to our surprise they were thrilled.  Here we thought that they would not like to be away on Thanksgiving but it actually turned out to be a great time for all.

As we moved into the month of December we realized it was going to be our second Christmas in Florida.  It is still funny to be in flip flops while buying a Christmas tree or spending a day at the beach instead of Christmas shopping.

This year we had plenty of family visits prior to the big holiday so we could celebrate early with the kids and give them a bit of "days gone by." We still had the tree, the cookies, the presents and the songs.  It got me thinking about this constant idea of tradition.  It is hard to not be attached to the way things used to be. 

I think that if there is one thing that moving to Florida has helped me with that is embracing change. 
Breaking tradition does not mean you have to leave what you used to do in the dust but it gives you the freedom to improvise.  From spending Thanksgiving at SeaWorld to playing Frisbee on the beach on Christmas Day, we are creating new experiences and memories. 

One of the ten yoga principles for living - aparigraha (not grasping) is a great way to remind us to let go.  Let go of how we think things should be, material items and even people.  I remember when I first started practicing yoga over ten years ago hearing about this idea of aparigraha from one of my first yoga instructors.  At that time in my life I did not realize how simple and profound it would be for me years later. 

What makes me laugh even more is that I think my children understand the practice of aparigraha better than I do.  Here I was all worried about going to Orlando for Thanksgiving and in the end they could not have been happier.  I mean really, what child would pooh, pooh that?  What was really going on was that I was the one having the hard time breaking the tradition of sitting around a table eating large quantities of food. 

In the end, this holiday season has been full of laughter, love and a sense of peace within our family.  Knowing that old traditions are not forgot but that new experiences are always available. 

May the joy and love of this holiday season continue within our hearts for the months to come.

Namaste

Paradise Lost...and Found

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.  - Joseph Campbell

A few months ago as I was writing one of my blog posts Mike made a comment about the name of my blog, "Yogi Girl in Paradise."  He said, "Do you really think you are in paradise here?"  Now as my husband says quite often in his sermons, you have to take his question within context.  I think that day he had been stuck in terrible traffic on U.S. Highway 19  (a.k.a. the most poorly designed road in the U.S - seriously!) and probably did not make it to the beach that day as well.  You see, Florida has its moments just like any other place in the world.  There are things down here that drive us crazy, like traffic and miles of strip malls, but then we make it to the beach and all that disappears.

When I first decided to start this blog it was named more for the idea that I was moving from the cold of winter to the warm of summer year round.   No more shoveling snow, I was going to live the "Salt Life."  I actually knew very little about the area of Florida besides the fact that the weather is pretty awesome all year round and that the Gulf beaches are breathtaking.  We were ready to experience a new way of living, we were excited for change. At that time my "paradise" was the adventure itself. 

It has been a few months since Mike posed this question and I have kept the thought tucked in my brain for a while.  What is paradise?

I think for many of us it is something tangible like a location. Yes, my physical paradise is the beach. I find a peaceful energy when I hear the roaring waves and smell the salt air. 

As I have lived near my physical paradise I have grown to realize that paradise has become more of an internal place, a state of being over the physicality. Right away it ties back to the practice of yoga. 

For many, the physical practice of yoga is what gives us joy. We can feel our physical body getting stronger and releasing tension. Yet, the asanas or postures of yoga are merely the beginning of the journey.

In Patanjali's Yoga Sutra, the eightfold path is called ashtanga (hence Ashtanga Yoga), which literally means "eight limbs."  The eight limbs are guidelines on how to live a meaningful and purposeful life.  They direct our attention toward one's health and they help us to acknowledge the spiritual aspects of our nature.

The asanas (the physical practice of yoga) is the third limb which falls towards the beginning of the eightfold path.  What I find very interesting is what the final limb is and that is Samadhi.  Samadhi is described as a state of ecstasy.  At this stage, we transcend the Self altogether.  We find the interconnectedness with all living things. Some might look at it as the experience of bliss and being at one with the Universe.  I know, that sounds pretty out there but what if we made it simpler like examining what we really wanted to get out of our lives?  Would we not want joy and freedom to be part of our lives? Patanjali describes this final path of desire for all human beings is for peace.  This final path that is the ultimate stage of yoga, enlightenment, can neither be bought nor possessed.  It can only be experienced.

So as I reflect upon the initial question about the name of my blog, I realize that it has evolved into so much more than a beach paradise but to a state of being.  Just like our yoga practice over time becomes so much more than just the physical movements.  We are searching for that inner peace, the ecstasy.   I will say that it is not so much about the beach anymore but I will add that the sunshine and the sand between my toes does help with getting me closer to that peaceful paradise.

May the blissful light in me honor the blissful light in you.

Namaste

 

Change for the better, not the worse

Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. -George Eliot

It is hard to believe that today is the first day of autumn when it is about 90 degrees and we are playing at the beach.  Although I will admit that the breeze is a bit cooler and I can slowly feel the Florida humidity subsiding.   Slowly being the key word. 

I was doing a bit of reading the other day on Ayurveda.  For those that are unfamiliar with Ayurveda here is a brief description:

Ayurveda, also known as Ayurvedic Medicine, is the traditional medicine of India, which originated there over 5,000 years ago. Ayurveda emphasizes re-establishing balance in the body through diet, lifestyle, exercise, and body cleansing, and on the health of the mind, body, and spirit. According to Ayurveda, everything is composed of five elements: air, water, fire, earth, and space. These elements combine to form the three doshas, vata, kapha, and pitta, or metabolic types. In Ayurveda, doshas account for some of our individual differences.

As we enter the season of autumn we start to experience change in the five elements which in turn affect our doshas. Depending on one's dosha, we may think about how this new season affects all aspects of our health.  If you are interested in finding out what dosha you fall under you can take a dosha quiz to get a general idea.

Dosha Quiz

I know, some of you are going, what is this funky stuff she is rambling on about but as you start to delve into examining your own health, body, mind and spirit it is hard not to notice how everything is interconnected.

Right before my birthday I was feeling a case of the blahs both in body and mind.  I just knew in my heart that a lot of it had to do with this coming of the fall equinox.  As a long time Midwesterner, fall has always been my favorite season.  I love the environmental changes that occur in Minnesota.  The leaves start to change color, the breeze gets cooler and yes, you can smell the works of Mother Nature at hand. 

I think that because the changes in Florida are so much more subtle that I was a bit down about my "new" fall season.  So I needed something to pull me out of my funk.  I needed to examine me.

So, this month I have been participating in the Yoga Journal 21 day yoga challenge.  It is simply a self practice challenge but it has been just what I have needed.  It has forced me to stay with my self practice and I must say that I have barely missed a day.  This challenge has allowed me to turn inward and simply notice what is going on with me.  How often do we take time for that?  Probably for most of us not often enough. 

My self practice has given me time each day to check in with my body.  Since I use my body quite a bit within my career scope it can really take a beating.  I have been able to work out kinks and just feel better all around.  The biggest part of this self practice is that I get time to myself.  Nothing but the sound of my breath flowing in and out of my body.  I am taking time to focus within my heart and even if it is just for a few minutes a day, I feel more at peace.

One of the biggest things that Ayurveda says about the fall equinox is that we should stick to our usual schedules.  Continue our normal routines.  This can be challenging as we move into the busy season of holidays, parties and many times overindulgence.  It makes sense that the more we stick to our normal schedules of exercise, diet, and sleep our bodies will be better equipped with the change of the season.  As the days grow shorter and the weather a bit cooler, it is important that the body is balanced. 

One of my favorite yoga sites had a good article this month on what we should pay attention to as we enter this autumn season.  Take a look: http://www.yoganonymous.com/ayurveda-balance-vata-seasons-changing-tania-kazi/

So as we enter into this new, enchanting season of autumn, may we find balance within our hearts, our bodies, our minds and our spirits.  May love flow freely through the changing leaves and the cooler breezes.

Namaste

Another year older...

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - Satchel Paige

I recently read an article by a woman who went through a real turning point in her life at age 36.  She felt like she had not accomplished enough at the age that she had reached.  She was looking for a way to bring more fulfillment to her life.  The article was intriguing as I am currently turning 36 today and have been having similar feelings for the past few months.

The number of the birthday has never really matter that much to me.  I still feel 21 in many ways.  I might have a few more aches and pains, a few wrinkles and more things to worry about but overall I still feel young.  I think what has been the hardest part for me this birthday is feeling like I am caught between those carefree younger years and the wise older years.  I am currently in the "Put your head down and swim" years.

It got me thinking about something I read recently with regards to life and the process of change.

In India there is a traditional Hindu social model that underscores the change we continuously experience. Called the Ashramas, or Stages of Life, it defines four distinct periods in life, during which people can and should do certain things.

The first, brahmacharya (brahmic conduct), is the student stage, during which one learns about oneself and the world.  I find that I am beyond this stage and yet I think we should always be in a constant quest to learn.

The second, grihastha (householder), is the stage of family and societal obligations. This is my current stage and yet I find myself wanting more. 

The last two stages focus on renunciation. During the third, vanaprastha (forest dweller), one is freer to begin a contemplative life. And during stage four, samnyasa (renunciation), one goes deeper, surrendering all worldly things and living as a simple mendicant.

I think that in theory we would like to move from stage one to four in order and yet I do not know if that is possible.  These stages are meant to help us accept change for we know that we will move from one stage to the other and that nothing is permanent.

As I review these stages I feel like I am at a crossroads.  I have not fully let go of stage one and I don't know if I ever will.  I am fully emerged in stage two but at times I feel that I desire stage three.  Looking ahead for that freedom to continue on my future path and calling.

As Mike and I walked on the beach yesterday (my pre-birthday beach walk), we were discussing these four Stages of Life.  He and I are both feeling the pull of stage two on our lives.  We love the craziness of having a young family and yet we want more.  We both are struggling with what is it that we need to make us happy. 

I went back to the article from the woman who turned 36 and needed more in her life.  She decided to set some personal goals for herself before she turned 40.  Some of these things were professional but many were just things she wanted to do.  It was inspiring to see what she was able to accomplish and she too had a young family but made it work.

So Mike and I declared a short list to each other as we walked along the beach and some are quite ambitious but many are simply quests that we could do as a family. Do you want to know our goals?  Well, I have to keep you coming back for more so keep reading my blog and slowly the list will be revealed. 

It was a bit more of a quiet birthday this year but I have a feeling they are just going to get bigger and better as the year's progress.  Here is to another year older in body but forever young in spirit.

May the light in me honor the light in you.

Namaste

Unsettled

People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is official; we are entering into our second year here in Florida. The first year, the honeymoon year, is always a whirlwind. Everything is new and you live by the mantra "This is the first..."  Things still feel new in the second year but the nostalgia of it being the first has worn off.  You still feel like the newbie but you can no longer truly wear that crown.  You walk around confused, in between the world of those that know where there are going and those that are still completely lost.  I call this the second year syndrome.

As the kids went back to school last week, Mike and I did our annual  "Hurry, drop the kids off at school and let's go celebrate at the beach," day. We spent the morning walking on Clearwater beach while recapping our first full Florida summer. Let's see, it was hot, hot and did I mention humid?  Like every summer vacation, it goes by too fast and yet going back to school is always exciting and new.

So as the kids embark on another new school year, as Mike has another exciting year ahead at his career, I too have a new year filled with more possibilities. I have been feeling an array of emotions since returning from Minnesota last month. It was a great trip but my feelings have been all over the place - happy, sad, anxious, bored, restless, and uneasy. Not sure where I am heading but I know I have things set ahead for me. After speaking with both my good friend Linda and my niece April, I finally figured out where I am; I am unsettled.

As the Buddha said, impermanence is the nature of the human condition. Many of us know this truth in our minds but tend to resist in our hearts. Change happens all around us, all the time, yet we long for the predictable, the consistent. We want the reassurance that comes from things remaining the same.

I have found myself going through this often in the last few weeks.  I know a lot of it has to do with my current visit back to Minnesota.  I was temporarily put back in "the way it used to be" mode.  Then within a matter of hours I was transported back to my new way of life here in Florida.  It is so easy to cling onto the memories of the past, especially when they are wonderful memories.  Yet, I have had many exciting experiences so far here in Florida that I do not want to feel ungrateful for these opportunities. 

I recently came across an article from Judith Hanson Lasater explaining certain verses of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras.  She uses the first verse that is translated "Now is an exposition on yoga."  Lasater does a good job at explaining what we should really be focusing on in this verse:

"That first word is the key. The verse is intended to underscore the importance of the study of yoga right now. It encourages us to focus on what is happening to the body, mind, breath, and emotions in this moment.  Now is a word that is powerful and sufficient enough by itself to be used as a life study, a sort of mantra. The ability to respond to now, to live in now, to enjoy each precious moment without clinging to it or pushing it away is the essence of spiritual practice.  We can live to the fullest when we recognize that our suffering is based not on the fact of impermanence but rather on our reaction to that impermanence."

I know that things have changed, but it is how I have been reacting to these changes that are making me feel the many ways I do.  I have some new avenues that I am about to travel down and I am resisting this change by feeling anxious and scared.  Instead of brooding over the fact that "We ain't in Minnesota anymore," I should be embracing, "Yes, we are in Florida NOW!"

These feelings of being unsettled are real and will more than likely never go away for nothing is permanent, things are always changing.  Maybe I should throw out the second year syndrome and go back to the honeymoon stage - but with eyes wide open for the here and now.  I should treat every experience as if it were both the first and possibly the last time I could do it.  Enjoy what is now for tomorrow might be something completely different (and maybe even better). 

So as I walk forward with new opportunities this fall, watch my girls grow another year older and my husband spread his brilliant teachings to others, all I need to remember is to watch and then let go for I know something new is right up ahead of us again, and again, and again, and again...

May the ever changing light in my heart honor the ever changing light in yours.

Namaste